Classical Rap, S. 96th St

Contrary to received etymological wisdom, the word ?yuppie? is derived from the German ?juppische,? a term coined in the eighteenth century to describe anyone exhibiting the characteristics of a certain hard-working, hard-relaxing Viennese lawyer. Everybody knew Herr Juppi at least by sight, since no one else power-walked in those days, especially wearing a mask to filter out the fumes form the horse manure in the streets, and closely followed by a string quartet, the cellist of which looked particularly comical trying to play while barely keeping pace with the energetic advocate. Among educated Europeans, losing weight was an obsession in the eighteenth century ? hence the term ?The Age of Enlightenment? ? due to the popularity of establishments such as ?Frauengutessen? (?Mom?s Good Eats?); this always-crowded culinary emporium sold tempting delicacies and ingenious kitchenware form all over the world ? items once available only too the aristocracy, but increasingly enjoyed by the burgeoning middle class ever since the disintegration of the medieval foodal system. Culture, health, food, sex and power: the life-foci of the juppische population then were little different from those of today?s denizens of the Upper West side in New York City. But life is no easier for the upwardly-mobile Manhattanite than it was for his/her counterpart in the Vienna of yore: there is always another social stratum to be scaled, always another area of information to be up on, always another droppable name to be learned. Though there is little they cannot purchase in their neighborhood, form gourmet treats such as salmon truffle balls and organically-grown marshmallows to first editions of Proust and Wodehouse, the modern Mr. and Mrs. Juppi must also pay, often through the proverbial nose, for things that other segments of the population either take for granted, financially-wise-speaking, or don?t bother with ? things like education and parking. P.D.Q. Bach? Classical Rap deals with the trials and tribulations of this underpitied class of urban dwellers, and it is hoped that the present author?s updating of the text, with today?s American audience in mind, leaves the spirit of the work intact, even though the letter of the work, as it, so to speak, were, has been thoroughly manhandled.