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The Dubious Works of P.D.Q. BACH (1807-1742?)
Shop 'til you drop. For you will surely drop...
...in the eyes of your peers. ...a few IQ points. ...hopefully not your instrument.
Say what you will about P.D.Q., but he has answered a crying need in the performance of classical music. Humor. While, assuredly, his compositions were meant to rival those of his peers, the outcome is just too earnest, too comical, too... STOLEN, not to be poked fun at. Yes, there are glimpes of a musical genius behind the writing (very... fleeting... glimpses), but his technique (also fleeting) puts his music squarely in the, shall we say, non-advanced category. Were it not for the historical and cultural stink surrounding his catalog, his music would be described as eminently approachable, suitable for today's musicians, even of modest skills. (My, how far we've come in 200 years.) (...or is it 265?)
Many years ago, an unknown-then-but-now-well-known musicologist, one Peter Schickele, approached the editors of Theodore Presser Company with a coffee-soaked manuscript, claiming to have unearthed a treasure (that's the word he used) of unknown-then-and-deservedly-so compositions by someone somehow related to the master, Johann Sebastian Bach. In their defense, these same editors would later declare that all they really heard was the name "Bach," and so they accepted for publication a line of questionable (too kind) writings. Little did we realize that the handful then would become the library now, as "Mr. Musicologist" continued to discover ever more manuscripts in the course of his research. (Curiosity killed the cat, y'know.)
So, here we are today, with ALL OF THIS STUFF in our warehouse. Because there's so much, and because so many otherwise-respectable musicians seem to like it, we begrudgingly offer this Round-Up (don't ask) of The Dubious Works of P.D.Q. Bach for your inspection. Herewith, his ilk.
KEYBOARD
“Goldbrick” Variations, S. 14 (Pno.)
110-40706
$10.95
Little Pickle Book (Pockelbüchlein), S. 6 (Organ, at least)
413-41144
$15.00
Notebook for Betty-Sue Bach, S. 13 going on 14 (Pno.)
410-41203
$9.95
The Short-Tempered Clavier (Preludes and Fugues in All the
Major and Minor Keys Except for the Really Hard Ones,
S. 3.14159, easy as (Pno.)
410-41313
$19.95
Sonata Da Circo (Circus Sonata), S. 3 Ring (Org., or whatever)
413-41145
$12.50
Sonata Innamorata, S. 1+1 (Pno., 4 Hands)
410-41280
$8.00
Three Chorale-Based Piecelets, S. III (Org.)
413-41146
$9.95
Three Teeny Preludes, S. 001 (Pno.)
110-40630
$7.95
Toot Suite, S. 212° (Calliope or Org., 4 Hands)
410-41199
$7.00
VOCAL
Diverse Ayres on Sundrie Notions, S. 99 44/100 (Bargain-Counter Tenor,
Worm/Snake, Vln., Vla., Vcl., Hpschd./Kbd.: Vocal Score)
411-41071
$6.95
Four Folksong Upsettings, S. 4 (Mezzanine Sopr. & Devious Instr.)
111-40140
$15.00
A Little Nightmare Music, S. 13 An Opera in One Irrevocable Act
(Pno./Vocal Score)
Shepherd on the Rocks, with a Twist, S. 12 to 1
(Bargain-Counter Tenor and Devious Inst.)
111-40111
$7.95
The Stoned Guest, S. 86 proof Half-Act Opera (Pno./Vocal Score)
411-41055
$15.00
Twelve Quite Heavenly Songs (Arie Proprio Zodicale), S. 16°
(Bargain-Counter Tenor, Basso Blotto, Keyboards)
414-41160
$12.00
"What sets P.D.Q. apart, which means below, most composers of classical ilk are his rampant plagiarism, technical ineptitude, ludicrous instrumental writing and unfathomable prescience. How this most eclectic of composers could incorporate jazz, blues and other 20th-century styles into his works is something only Schickele could tell." - The Pittsburgh Press
"P.D.Q. Bach (1807-1742)? is the happy creation of Schickele, a composer and former teacher. The concert was a sometimes broad but always knowing lampoon of baroque music, carried off with just enough expertise to border on the believable." - Time Magazine
"What can I say? You either like P.D.Q.'s stuff or you love it." -CD Review
"'An Evening with P.D.Q. Bach' is a very, very funny show, even for people who like music but don't know why." - The New York Times
LARGE CHORAL WORKS
Birthday Ode to “Big Daddy Bach”, S. 100 (SATB, Pno. red.)
412-41067
$3.95
Choral Cantata: “Knock, Knock”, S. 4/1 (Pno./Vocal Score)
412-41073
$4.95
Oedipus Tex, S. 150 (Pno./Vocal Score)
412-41072
$9.95
The Seasonings, S. 1½ tsp. (Pno./Vocal Score)
411-41054
$5.95
CHORAL (Octavo)
The Art of the Ground Round, S. 1.19/lb (3 Baritones & Discontinuo)
312-41055
$1.90
A Consort of Christmas Carols, S. 359:
Good King Kong Looked Out
SATB a cap.
312-41182
$1.75
SAB a cap.
312-41280
$1.75
SSAA a cap.
312-41279
$1.75
O Little Town of Hackensack
SATB a cap.
312-41181
$1.65
SAB a cap.
312-41281
$1.65
SSAA a cap.
312-41284
$1.65
Throw the Yule Long On, Uncle John
SATB a cap.
312-41180
$1.90
SAB a cap.
312-41282
$1.90
SSAA a cap.
312-41283
$1.90
Four Curmudgeonly Canons (The Seasons of a Malcontent),
S. 365 (SATB)
312-41675
$1.80
Liebeslieder Polkas, S. 2/44 (SATB, Pno. 5 Hands)
1. To His Coy Mistress
312-41328
$1.75
2. To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time
312-41329
$1.75
3. The Passionate Shepherd to His Love
312-41330
$1.90
4. Why So Pale and Wan, Fond Lover?
312-41331
$1.65
5. It Was a Lover and His Lass
312-41332
$1.75
6. The Constant Lover
312-41333
$1.75
7. Song to Celia
312-41334
$1.75
8. Interlude, and 9. Farewell, Ungrateful Traitor
312-41335
$1.90
10. Who Is Sylvia?
312-41336
$1.90
Two Hearts, Four Lips, Three Little Words, S. 9 (SSATB a cap.)
312-41699
$2.50
Two Madrigals from “The Triumphs of Thusnelda”, S. 1601:
My Bonnie Lass, She Smelleth (SSATB a cap.)
312-40795
$1.75
The Queen to Me a Royal Pain Doth Give (SSATB a cap.)
312-40794
$1.75
Are you on dial-up?!? Or, maybe you're afraid that someone will come along and look over your shoulder...?
You can download this listing in a handy-dandy PDF catalog, and it'll cost you only a megabyte. We suggest saving it under a different name, something respectable, in case others use your computer.
BRASS
Canzon per sonar a sei - Count them - sei, S. 6
(2 Tpt., 2 Hn., Tbn., Tu.)
114-40471
$18.00
Canzonetta “La Hooplina” (“The Girl from Hoople”), S. 16 going on 30
(2 Tpt., 2 Hn., Tbn., Tu.)
114-40623
$16.00
Fanfare for the Common Cold, S. 98.7
(2 Tpt., 2 Hn., Tbn.)
114-40208
$10.00
WOODWIND
Lip My Reeds, S. 32’ (4 Bsn.)
114-40674
$17.50
Octoot, S. 8 (2 Fl., 2 Ob., 2 Bsn., 2 Cl.)
414-41157
$23.95
Sonata “Abassoonata”, S. 888 (Bsn. & Pno. [1 Player])
114-40746
$12.95
Sonata Piccola, S. 8va (Picc. & Pno. or Hpschd.)
114-40458
$10.00
STRING
Sonata for Viola 4 Hands, and Harpsichord, S. 440 (Vla., Pno.)
114-40166
$10.95
Suite No. 1 for Cello All By Its Lonesome, S. 1a (Vcl. Unacc.)
114-40832
$6.95
Suite No. 2 for Cello All By Its Lonesome, S. 1b (Vcl. Unacc.)
114-40833
$6.95
CONCERT BAND
Grand Serenade for an Awful Lot of Winds and Percussion, S. 1000
Concert Band set
115-40138
$75.00
Full Score
115-40138F
$12.00
Condensed Score
115-40138C
$7.50
March of the Cute Little Wood Sprites, S. Onesy Twosy
Concert Band
115-40184
$65.00
Full Score
115-40184F
$10.00
Condensed Score
115-40184C
$6.00
Six Contrary Dances, S. 39
Concert Band
115-40161
$49.94
Full Score
115-40161F
$4.50
Condensed Score
115-40161C
$3.00
MIXED ENSEMBLE
Capriccio “La Pucelle de New Orleans”, S. under 18
(2 Fl., 2 Ob., 2 Cl., 2 Bsn., Tpt., Tbn.)
114-40578
$20.00
“Dutch” Suite in G Major, S.-16 (Bsn., Tu.)
114-40244
$9.95
Echo Sonata for Two Unfriendly Groups of Instruments, S.9999999
(Fl., Ob., Bsn., Hn., Tpt., Tbn.)
114-40580
$18.95
Fanfare for Fred, S. 39 (4 Tpt. In C, 4 Hn. In F, Timp., 4 Perc.)
114-40675
$18.50
The Musical Sacrifice, S. 50% off
(Picc./Fl., Ob., Bsn., Tbn., B.Tbn., Vln., Cb.)
114-40579
$45.00
The Only Piece Ever Written for Violin and Tuba, S. 9, 10, big fat hen
(Vln., Tu.)
114-41168
$9.95
Schleptet, S. 0 (Fl., Ob., Bsn., Hn., Vln., Vla., Vcl.)
114-40581
$20.00
Trio (Sic) Sonata, S. 3[4] (2 Fl., Tamb., Tu.)
114-40370
$9.95
ITS OWN CATEGORY
Erotica Variations, S. 36EE for Banned Instruments
(Wind-breaker/Balloons/Slide Whiste/Slide Windbreaker/Lasso
d’Amore/Foghorn/Bell/Kazoo/Gargle [1 player]) & Piano
114-40240
$7.95
Any resemblance between the composer and his editor are purely illusary. And Professor Schickele doesn't expend all of his musical energies prettying up the output of P.D.Q. - our catalog also contains a number of his own works across the spectrum of music. A search of "Schickele" in the Presser online shopping cart brings up a total of (287) items. We cheat on that number, of course, but, hey - 287!
But if you're a serious fan of P.D.Q., you really need to visit his "home" - www.schickele.com.
And if you haven't been there already, well, how serious are you?
